Back to Basics - The Unspoken

Sometimes I just want to humiliate myself and dont care about it. I have been trying to be the good guy and noone cared. So why? I have hit the bottom emotionally and just going with the flow. Maybe I need to be the wave again. What do you think? 

I dont say that I am a very good person. I have never been that romantic guy. I am realistic and I can take challenges. I can be strong and vulnerable like every human being should be. However this comes and goes over the past 10 years have made me less caring unfortunately. People think I have been a better person however I am just more experienced. This does not make me a "better" person. Some will understand this when it is too late. I will be long gone by then. This is no joke and I am not a toy.  BRING IT ON!

Feels like its not my home most of the time.  Its just a place where I spend my time.  The only one feels like I am attached is son. Its so sad I feel sorry for my commitments sometimes.  I was not smart and did not play this well.  Hope is not the answer anymore lets just say next time...